document

I can't sleep at night because I keep thinking there is anxiety underneath thinking the undercurrent of a river never stops running I remind myself not to think or to think of something else not work not sex but no dice even meditating a good long hour scroll of the phone as a last resort poetry Espada painting the picture of a lawyer considering suicide by jumping his father from a bridge and way down below he paints the builders of the bridge either way he says there are bodies floating downstream and those throwing their self over the side of those bridges that were built over death this is another moment I could document by poem I am always thinking the constant stream to want more and more to make a documentary of myself uncontainable in the middle of the night a tsunami unorganisable that will drown us all in self-reflection