A Study of Wit + Gin + Stone (but the German Variety)

I think I will name my first child cunt and my second child motherfucker and my third child piss (and my dog cock and my cat pussy) so their teachers must say things like what did Shakespeare mean cunt and who fought the Nazis motherfucker and what is your favourite color piss (and I must say come cock and stop scratching pussy). This isn’t an elegy to Ludwig any more than an autocorrected fuck rabbit tattoo on my wrist or an autobiography written for someone else by a rose is (actually so many of them). It’s funny how mad I got when you left the lids of jars unscrewed because now I notice how often I don’t say I love you any more, seven months after we broke up, how my tongue starts to rot when I don’t talk to anyone for four days straight, how now you call me by my given name and then I feel like we never even slept in the same bed. And now that I think about it, I will name my first born I love you because then when they meet someone new the other person will have to say: Nice to meet you, I love you.